The Quote
“Be grateful always! Never be jealous of those better than you if you will not be jealous of those worse than you.”
— Godwin Delali Adadzie
Context and Inspiration
This reflection addresses a logical inconsistency in how most people approach comparison with others. The observation exposes the selective nature of jealousy and the double standard many people apply when measuring their lives against others. People readily notice those who have more, achieve more, or experience more success—and feel jealous, resentful, or inadequate by comparison. Yet these same people rarely look at those who have less, struggle more, or face greater hardship—and feel grateful, relieved, or blessed by comparison. This selective comparison reveals something deeper: the real problem isn’t that others have what we lack, but that we’ve lost sight of what we already have. The quote challenges this pattern by pointing out that if we’re going to compare ourselves to others at all, consistency requires comparing in both directions—which quickly reveals that comparison itself is the problem, and gratitude is the solution.
The Selective Nature of Comparison
Human beings are comparison machines. We constantly measure ourselves against others—our income against our neighbor’s, our children’s achievements against our friend’s children, our appearance against people on social media, our success against our peers.
But notice the pattern: We almost always compare upward.
We see the person with the bigger house and feel inadequate. We rarely see the person without a house and feel grateful.
We notice the colleague who got promoted ahead of us and feel resentful. We rarely notice the person who lost their job and feel thankful.
We observe the friend whose marriage seems perfect and feel jealous. We rarely observe the person going through divorce and feel blessed.
We scroll past influencers with seemingly ideal lives and feel our own life is lacking. We rarely scroll past people sharing their struggles and feel grateful for our comparatively easier circumstances.
This upward-only comparison guarantees dissatisfaction. There will always be someone with more, achieving more, experiencing more success. If you only look up, you’ll always feel you’re coming up short.
The Logic of the Quote
The quote presents a simple logical test: If you’re going to feel jealous of those better than you, you should logically feel jealous of those worse than you.
But wait—jealous of people who have less? That doesn’t make sense!
Exactly. That’s the point.
Jealousy toward those “worse off” would be absurd. Why would you envy someone who has less than you? You already have what they’re missing.
If jealousy toward those worse off is absurd, then jealousy toward those better off is equally absurd—just in the opposite direction. In both cases, you’re focusing on the gap rather than on what you actually have.
The quote uses this logical reversal to expose the foolishness of comparison-based jealousy entirely. If the logic doesn’t work in one direction, it doesn’t work in the other either.
The real solution isn’t to start comparing downward instead of upward. It’s to stop making comparison the source of your contentment or discontent altogether.
What the Bible Says About Comparison
Scripture addresses comparison and jealousy extensively:
Comparison Breeds Jealousy: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Proverbs 14:30). Jealousy literally damages you physically and spiritually. It’s described as rotting from the inside—a powerfully negative image.
Comparison Destroys Contentment: Paul wrote: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:11-12).
Notice Paul’s contentment didn’t depend on comparing his situation to others. He could be content whether he had much or little because his contentment came from something internal, not comparative.
Comparison Misses God’s Individual Plan: When Peter asked Jesus about John’s future, Jesus essentially told him to mind his own business: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me” (John 21:22).
Each person has their own calling, timeline, and path. Comparing your journey to someone else’s is irrelevant. Your job is to follow Jesus in your unique calling.
Comparison Produces Bitter Fruit: James wrote: “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:16).
Jealousy doesn’t exist in isolation. It opens the door to all kinds of other sins—gossip, slander, undermining others, bitterness, resentment, and destructive behavior.
God Commands Gratitude, Not Comparison: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
God’s will for you is gratitude in all circumstances—not just when you have more than others, but always. This directly contradicts the comparison mindset.
The Poison of Jealousy
Jealousy damages everyone it touches:
It Damages You: Jealousy makes you miserable. You can’t enjoy what you have because you’re fixated on what others have. You can’t celebrate your achievements because you’re focused on someone else’s greater achievements. You can’t rest because you’re constantly feeling you’re falling behind.
Proverbs 27:4 says: “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” Jealousy is presented as worse than anger—it’s more consuming, more destructive, more difficult to overcome.
It Damages Relationships: Jealousy poisons friendships, creates division, and prevents genuine connection. You can’t truly celebrate with those who rejoice when you’re jealous of their joy. You can’t mourn with those who mourn when you’re secretly glad their success has been interrupted.
The relationship becomes transactional—you’re measuring what they have against what you have rather than simply loving them.
It Damages Your Relationship with God: Jealousy reveals a lack of trust in God’s goodness and provision. It says: “God, you haven’t given me enough. You’re blessing them more than me. That’s not fair.”
This attitude questions God’s wisdom, love, and justice. It suggests you know better than God what you should have and when you should have it.
It Damages Your Character: Jealousy leads to other sins. It produces gossip (tearing down those you envy), pride (elevating yourself when you do have something they don’t), manipulation (trying to get what they have through deceptive means), and bitterness (resenting God and others for the perceived unfairness).
It Damages Your Witness: Nothing repels people from Christianity faster than Christians who are jealous, envious, and discontent despite claiming to trust a good and generous God.
If your faith hasn’t made you grateful for what you have, why would anyone want what you have?
The Freedom of Gratitude
Gratitude is the antidote to jealousy. Where jealousy focuses on what’s missing, gratitude focuses on what’s present. Where jealousy compares, gratitude celebrates. Where jealousy breeds discontent, gratitude creates peace.
Gratitude Doesn’t Depend on Circumstances: You can be grateful even when life is hard. Grateful doesn’t mean everything is perfect—it means you recognize good even in difficulty.
Paul and Silas sang hymns in prison (Acts 16:25). They weren’t grateful for being imprisoned, but they could still worship God even there.
Gratitude Shifts Your Focus: When you practice gratitude, you start noticing blessings you previously overlooked. Your health, your family, your food, your shelter, your freedom, your opportunities—things you took for granted become visible again.
The person who is grateful for having shoes doesn’t need to compare their shoes to someone else’s expensive sneakers.
Gratitude Increases Joy: Research and Scripture both confirm this. Grateful people experience more joy, better relationships, better health, and greater life satisfaction.
The psalmist wrote: “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Each day is a gift to be received with gladness, not measured against someone else’s day.
Gratitude Honors God: When you’re grateful for what you have, you acknowledge that everything is a gift from God. You’re not entitled to anything; everything is grace.
James 1:17 reminds us: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.” When you recognize this, jealousy makes no sense. You’re simply grateful for whatever gifts God has given you.
Gratitude Enables Celebration: When you’re grateful for what you have, you’re free to genuinely celebrate when others are blessed. Their gain doesn’t threaten you because your contentment doesn’t depend on comparison.
Romans 12:15 instructs: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Gratitude makes this possible. Jealousy makes it impossible.
The Comparison That Actually Matters
If comparison is so problematic, does that mean we should never compare ourselves to anyone?
There’s one comparison that’s actually helpful: comparing yourself to who you used to be.
Am I growing? That’s a question worth asking. Am I more patient than I was last year? More generous? More faithful? More loving? More self-controlled?
This kind of comparison measures progress without requiring you to measure yourself against others.
Am I faithful with what I’ve been given? Jesus’ parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) shows that God holds us accountable for what we do with what we’ve been given—not for having as much as someone else.
The servant with five talents wasn’t judged against the servant with two talents. Each was judged based on whether they were faithful with their own portion.
Am I becoming more like Christ? This is the ultimate standard. “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29).
The goal is Christlikeness, not matching someone else’s achievements, possessions, or experiences.
This kind of comparison is healthy because:
- It focuses on growth, not status
- It measures against an objective standard (Christ) rather than subjective comparison with others
- It’s encouraging rather than discouraging
- It produces humility rather than pride or jealousy
- It honors God rather than feeding ego
Practicing Gratitude Instead of Jealousy
How do you actually make this shift from jealousy to gratitude?
Start Each Day Listing Blessings: Before you get out of bed, name three things you’re grateful for. This sets a tone of gratitude before you encounter triggers for comparison.
When Jealousy Arises, Name It and Replace It: Notice when you feel jealous. Don’t deny it or pretend it’s not there. Name it: “I’m feeling jealous of her success.” Then deliberately replace it with gratitude: “But I’m grateful for the opportunities I do have.”
Practice Downward Comparison (Briefly): When you’re feeling envious of someone who has more, briefly consider those who have less. Not to feel superior, but to restore perspective. You’re probably better off than billions of people.
Then immediately shift to gratitude for what you have, rather than staying in comparison mode.
Celebrate Others Genuinely: When someone succeeds, achieves, or receives blessing, practice genuinely celebrating with them. Say “I’m so happy for you!” and mean it.
This is a spiritual discipline that kills jealousy. You can’t simultaneously celebrate someone and be jealous of them.
Remember God’s Individual Calling: When you’re tempted to compare your path to someone else’s, remind yourself: God has a unique plan for me. My timeline isn’t their timeline. My calling isn’t their calling. Comparison is irrelevant.
Focus on Stewardship: Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on faithfully stewarding what you do have. Are you using your time, talents, resources, relationships, and opportunities well?
If you’re being faithful with what God has entrusted to you, that’s what matters—not how it compares to what He’s entrusted to others.
Keep an Eternal Perspective: Most things we’re jealous about are temporary. In light of eternity, does it really matter who had a bigger house, nicer car, better career, or more recognition on earth?
What matters is faithfulness to Christ. Everything else is temporary.
When Others Have What You Desperately Want
This teaching is easy when you’re jealous about trivial things. It’s much harder when others have something you desperately want and lack.
The couple struggling with infertility watching friends have baby after baby. The single person longing for marriage watching everyone around them get engaged. The unemployed person watching others advance in careers. The sick person watching healthy people take their health for granted.
In these situations, the pain is real. The longing is legitimate. And simply being told “be grateful” can feel dismissive.
So what do you do?
Acknowledge the Pain Without Letting It Become Bitterness: It’s okay to grieve what you lack. Hannah wept because she couldn’t have children (1 Samuel 1:10). Jesus wept at Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35). Grief over loss or lack is legitimate.
But there’s a difference between grief and bitter jealousy. Grief says “This hurts.” Jealousy says “It’s unfair that they have it and I don’t.”
You can acknowledge your pain without resenting others’ blessings.
Bring Your Desires to God: Tell God honestly what you want. He already knows, but the act of bringing your desires to Him in prayer helps you process them and submit them to His will.
Look for What You Can Be Grateful For: Even in the hardest circumstances, there are still blessings. They might seem small compared to what you lack, but they’re real.
The infertile couple might have a strong marriage, supportive friends, or meaningful work. The single person might have freedom, deep friendships, or opportunities to serve. The unemployed person might have family support or time to develop new skills.
This isn’t minimizing the pain of what’s lacking. It’s refusing to let that pain blind you to every other good thing.
Trust God’s Timing and Wisdom: Sometimes God says yes later. Sometimes He says yes differently. Sometimes He says no because He has something better in mind.
You don’t have to understand His timing to trust His character. He is good. He loves you. He knows what you need.
Find Purpose in the Waiting: Often the waiting season develops something in you that you’ll need later. Joseph’s years in prison prepared him for leadership in Egypt. David’s years running from Saul prepared him for kingship.
Ask God: “What do you want to develop in me during this season?”
The Surprising Gift of Having Less
Sometimes what looks like disadvantage is actually gift in disguise:
Less Money Can Mean Less Stress: The person with the bigger house has bigger utility bills, bigger repair costs, more to clean, more to worry about.
Fewer Opportunities Can Mean Clearer Focus: When you have limited options, decision-making is simpler. You can focus deeply on the one thing rather than being scattered across many possibilities.
Later Success Can Mean Greater Maturity: Getting success before you’re ready can destroy you. Delayed blessing often includes the gift of character development that makes you ready to steward it well.
Smaller Platform Can Mean Greater Freedom: The person with massive influence also has massive scrutiny, pressure, and responsibility. Sometimes obscurity is a blessing.
This isn’t to romanticize hardship or pretend disadvantages don’t exist. It’s to recognize that comparison based on surface appearances often misses deeper realities.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sometimes it’s just fertilized with different problems.
The Ultimate Perspective
At the deepest level, jealousy makes no sense for Christians because we already have the greatest treasure possible: relationship with God through Christ.
Paul wrote: “I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8).
If you have Christ, you have everything that ultimately matters. Everything else is secondary.
This doesn’t mean earthly things don’t matter at all. God cares about your needs, desires, and circumstances. But it does mean that even if you have less than others in earthly terms, you have more than enough in eternal terms.
The poorest believer is richer than the wealthiest unbeliever. Because one has eternal life and the other doesn’t.
When you grasp this reality, jealousy over earthly differences loses its power. You can genuinely celebrate when others are blessed because your ultimate treasure isn’t threatened by their success.
Reflection Questions
- Who are you most tempted to compare yourself to? What specifically triggers jealousy in you?
- When was the last time you compared yourself to someone who has less than you and felt grateful? Why don’t we do this as naturally as comparing upward?
- What would change in your life if you replaced comparison with gratitude as your default response?
- Are there people whose success you’ve struggled to celebrate because of jealousy? How can you begin genuinely rejoicing with them?
- What blessings in your life have you been taking for granted because you’ve been focused on what you lack?
- How does remembering that you have Christ—the ultimate treasure—change your perspective on earthly comparisons?
Related Quotes
- “If you don’t want to end up disappointed. Don’t get too excited too soon and don’t expect too much.”
- “Everything is expensive. You just pay for it now or later.”
- “Destiny helper is not always equal to financial helper. Money is not the only important aspect of your destiny.”
Want to grow in gratitude and contentment? Explore my books on faith and spiritual wisdom, discover more quotes and reflections, or read more articles on finding peace and joy.
